Through All My Trials
by Sea Chelle
Summary: Harry reflects on his past and how he feels when someone tells him he does what he does to get attention. This is a short story.


(Disclaimer: I own nothing.)

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Through All My Trials

"Oh – oh my! Wait! Wait for me!" He turned around to look at the girl running towards him and sighed. Hermione looked to Ron worriedly. "Harry! Harry Potter! That's – you're – wow!" She gaped at him and her eyes flickered to the lightning shaped scar upon his forehead. "You're Harry Potter!" she exclaimed in a screech. "I'm Cassie!" She surveyed him in awe, then her eyes showed concern. "Oh dear, Harry! You're hurt! Here, let me –," she reached out but he stepped back away from her. 

"No – er – I'll be alright," he replied, wincing as he grabbed a gouge in his side. He was sore all over, his dealing with the great Voldemort was over and he had survived with many injuries. 

Cassie looked at him, then to her outstretched hand that she had offered for help and then glared. "What," she said loudly, now enraged, "is my help not good enough for you?" 

Harry was still backing away from the fan of his until he stopped at her last words. He glowered down at her. "Don't you speak to me like that. You don't know what I've been through," said he while trying to control his anger. She sneered at him menacingly.

"Yes I do, you took on You – Know – Who yourself, trying to be the big – shot hero again I presume." Her eyes danced with a taunting fire. She then noticed Hermione and Ron at his sides and her scowl deepened. "And who're they? Ha, I've never seen such losers in my life." Harry slowly advanced on her with his best friends lingering behind not knowing what to do. His face was strained from the pain of his limping leg that was in tatters from his great confrontation with the Dark Lord. The agony of his other cuts and bruises that loitered about his body showed on his face. 

"They aren't losers, these are my friends, the only people who were by my side from the start. Now why don't you turn around and go back home, enjoy your own friends and leave mine alone." Harry slowly turned around and flinched again while clutching the gash on his shoulder. 

Ron and Hermione strolled up beside him. "Harry…" 

He waved his hand impatiently. "I'm fine." Cassie made an angry sound and marched up to him. Turning him to face her, he fell to the ground. She looked shocked then took a step back. Angrily, Harry tried to get up and Ron, along with Hermione, hastily went to help him but he pushed his friends away. "I can do it," he mumbled. When he stood up, he gave the girl a provoked look. His breath was labored and his face was strained. 

"You know what?" asked Cassie leeringly. "I bet you do what you do and act how you act just to get attention – to get sympathy from everyone." Harry's stomach lurched and he looked at her furiously. 

"Attention?" he inquired as he looked to Ron incredulously. "Sympathy?" he questioned while he turned to Hermione. Harry looked at the girl before him with a small smile on his face. "You have no idea what you're talking about. I'd like to see how you'd turn out if you had no parents. I'd like to see what you'd be like after having an encounter with Voldemort." The other three grimaced. "You don't have any clue what I go through.

"How would you like it if all your life you had no mother, not to mention no father to speak of either? How would you like it if the most powerful dark wizard was after your blood because for some strange and stupid reason you lived through a curse bestowed upon you by him and lived?" At that moment, Harry took a step toward Cassie and she held her ground while looking up at him with a sinister gaze.

"Everyone looks at me because I'm Harry Potter – the boy who lived, not because of who I am. No one ever does, except these two," he told the girl while motioning towards Hermione and Ron who looked thoroughly bewildered. Then Harry cringed and grabbed his shoulder. Hermione took a step forward to help him but Ron held her back and shook his head. "They're two of the very few people who know me, and like me for who I really am and not because of the name I've received by everyone. Everyone expects me to be someone I'm not, they expect a hero and me to be perfect, but I'm not. Every day and night I have to try and prove myself, to prove I'm me and not the person they want me to be."

"Harry, you're really hurt, we should take you into the hospital now," said Hermione while ignoring Ron's attempts to hold her back. But the famous boy shook his head stubbornly.

"No, I think she needs to hear this," he said. Then he continued as he took another tormenting step towards the offending girl. She was looking at him in wonder now. "Do you know what a dementor is Cassie?" She nodded her head in assent as he stepped towards her again. The two were now a foot away from each other. "Do you know what I hear every time I get near one of those monsters? I hear my dad, telling my mum to run away with me. I hear him telling her he'll try and hold Voldemort off himself. Then I hear my mum screaming for mercy. Screaming for Voldemort to kill her instead of me. Do you know what I go through hearing her scream like that?"

Harry was whispering now and looking rather distant as he looked to the ground. "And it's not only when I'm near a dementor. I see it all in my dreams. Flashes of green light. My dad, doing everything he can to save my mum and me. Then I see her standing in front of me, shielding me from the monster who killed her and my dad…" He trailed off with his voice barely audible. A tear dripped down his cheek. He looked up from the ground straight at Cassie. "To hear your mum scream like that is enough to send chills through your spine, make you choke up and," he laughed as he brushed his tears away, "and cry.

"Through all the things I've been through, through all my trials and tribulations, I had no one by my side, except the few friends I have. But even then, when they were with me through everything, you don't know how it feels to know you're putting them on danger. Just by being their friend, I put them in danger. Do you know what it feels like? I have to go through this and think about it every day and every night. No one, _not one single person_ knows what I go through, so I go through it all on my own, by myself. 

"Until you feel what I feel, and live how I live, I don't want you to speak of me the way you did." He turned around and stumbled over the uneven pavement. Ron and Hermione were instantly at his side but he shook his head and struggled out of their grasp. They understood and backed away.

"Harry, do you need help?" asked Cassie quietly as he picked himself off the ground. He turned to look at her with a determined expression on his face.

"No," said Harry Potter, "I want to do this on my own." 


End file.
